FREE BREAKFAST!!

The NRI Chachas – Part 1

I have met numerous NRI chachas  over the last thirty-five years. The famous ones you read about in the papers, those that are business tycoons, or famous academics and such. The infamous ones you also hear about, those that imbibe too much alcohol,  or become con artists and so on.

In this series, I will write about the strange, the quirky, and the funny ones. The stories are mainly true.

Kamal babu had an attitude. He was an important man, an established academic with an elevated cholesterol level. He worried a lot, about his research, about his cholesterol, about his prospects for advancement, about his money and so forth. As a result, other people that were not academics or medical professionals or financial advisors  were pretty much invisible to him.

We  were  traveling in different directions, but our paths crossed in London. It turned out we will both be in London for three days, so we decided to share a hotel room.

London hotels are expensive -  this one was pretty basic, a musty room in a house that looked like about two hundred years old, but close to the Tube rail  and free breakfast!  And an attached  bathroom that was so small that you will need to contort yourself into yoga positions to be able to take a shower. And all this for about $140 per day!

“What a deal! At least we have free breakfast” Kamal said.

Indeed!

On our first morning, I woke up before him, successfully took a shower while twisting my body like a jilebi, and went to the basement for the free breakfast.

Instead of  a sumptuous buffet, I found a small kitchen area stacked with several types of bread, instant coffee and teabags, and cornflakes and other cereals. Oh yes, they had fruit juices too.

This certainly was no Hilton. But wait, as I approached the kitchen counter, a guy that looked very Hispanic hurried out with a shopping bag in his hand.

“I will be back shortly. I need to get some supplies, sorry” He said as he exited through the back door of the hotel.

Apparently, his supply of cornflakes was  running low!

Undaunted, I approached the counter.

The Spanish guy had left  his wife/gf in charge at the kitchen.

The Senora was curvy, indeed very curvy, with a pretty face as well.  Unfortunately, she spoke no English whatsoever.

 I decided to venture beyond the dining area, entering the kitchen.

“No!” Senora exclaimed, followed by Spanish instructions obviously meant for me to stay out of  the kitchen.

I gave her a big smile, grabbed some bread, put two slices in the toaster, and put some water in the microwave. In front of the lady’s disapproving eyes, I got some cereal and milk as well, and made some crappy instant coffee – hey it was free!

Toast, cornflakes, and coffee, just like I have at home , except I have brewed coffee that tastes a lot better. But Senora was eye candy, enhancing the beauty of the kitchen area. I kept on smiling at her as I ate my breakfast. She frowned at first, then broke into a big smile. Couldn’t resist my charm, you see.

I went for a little walk after breakfast, the sun was shining in London, apparently a rare occurrence!

Twenty minutes later, in cheerful spirits, back in the hotel room, I met a furious Kamal Sahib. He was fuming!

“Did you eat breakfast?” He asked.

“yes” I said.

“There was a woman in the kitchen that was weird. I asked her for some lightly toasted wheat bread, some green tea, and bran flakes with skim milk. I need to watch my cholesterol, you see. She kept on speaking  gibberish to me and gave me some bad instant coffee”. Kamal was mad!

“That’s because she does not speak English, my friend. Her husband is in charge, he went to get some supplies, is probably back by now. He speaks English. The coffee is crap though.” I agreed.

“How did you eat breakfast?” Kamal asked me.

“ I made my own. You do not have a be a trained chef to make toast”. I was a little sarcastic.

“Well, I went back upstairs and complained bitterly to the manager. Look”, he brandished the hotel’s list of amenities in front of my eyes, “It says “free breakfast””!

“Now, now, that’s overkill. You should have waited for a few minutes, or made your own tea.” I said

“I was upset. Now I am hungry too” Kamal babu  persisted.

Suddenly, there was a big commotion outside  in the corridor.

We both went outside.

The main hotel entrance was visible from where we were standing.

“Get out of here! I have put up with you long enough!” The hotel manager,  apparently from the Middle East, and evidently with a big temper, was in the process of sacking the Spaniard!

“Please, sir! It would never happen again” , was the Spaniard’s meek response.

The manager was unforgiving. So we witnessed the sorry spectacle of  Senor, sniffling,  while holding two shopping bags full of cornflakes and such. Senora was bawling now, her curves heaving, with large teardrops  distorting her pretty face. Soon, they exited the premises, jobless, but with a couple of week’s supply of breakfast items.  

Kamal  babu, while self-absorbed, was not  devoid of compassion altogether. He was embarrassed -  he terminated two poor people’s  livelihood  for some silly  toast.

Did he ask for a discount from the manager for  not having free breakfast? I don’t know,  I didn’t.

We did not mention this much in the next two days.

Did this incident change our NRI chacha’s attitude? Did he become more charismatic, noticing the common people that surround us in our powerful strides towards success?

Hmmmmm……. Fat chance!